Bang, b-b-bang- The Arctic Monkeys Are Incredible Live
An incredible show from Sheffield's finest
It felt poetic that Alex Turner chose to open with ‘Fluorescent Adolescent’, as that was the Arctic Monkeys song that led to my discovery of the band. I loved the riff- those who have seen The Inbetweeners will remember that it’s played when a hopeless Simon Cooper passes his driving test only because the examiner fancies him.
For a while Fluorescent Adolescent was my favourite song, but I then discovered I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor, Mardy Bum and 505, and the band from High Green quickly became an obsession. It was timely as well; this was just as the pandemic hit, and I began to learn guitar, and the thought of being able to play songs by The Arctic Monkeys motivated me to keep playing, despite sounding like total crap (some might argue that I still do).
It wasn’t until early 2021 that I discovered by absolute favourite- a hidden gem called Cornerstone, which lyrically is a bit fucked up (Turner keeps asking girls if he can call them by his ex’s name so that he can pretend it’s the same woman, before her sister accepts the offer) but also in that sense, is entirely unique and intriguing, as well it being a climatic masterpiece. It’s not the greatest song of all time, but it is indeed, my favourite song of all time, by anyone.
It’s my favourite because of the sentimental value as much as anything (not because I would adopt the same strategy with the name calling), largely because I started to listening to it in a particularly difficult time in my life, and many would probably see early 2021 in that same light.
The reason I mention this is that it was touch and go as to whether AM would actually perform Cornerstone on the night- but I was in luck. They did, and it was incredible, and of course, very emotional, as was the whole experience.
Their musical performance throughout the night was faultless- Alex Turner was indeed a sexy swine and made everyone want to put on their dancing shoes. The band weren’t wank, and I did have a very nice time.
It’s very difficult to write a concert review without at least one cliché, but it’s impossible to avoid saying that I really didn’t want it to end. I honestly could have happily stayed and listened to another 20 songs. I could write a list of 20 songs that they didn’t perform, which I would have loved to have seen- but in fairness, they did play 95% of ‘the classics’.
I don’t think they will ever perform The Bakery, which is in my top five favourites, but I can always dream (the same way I dream of jam donuts from a bakery). It’s the delay on the guitars and the rawness of his voice on the track, as well as the quirky lyrics that I love, but unfortunately, none of those things really fit in with their current sound.
Their new album and the one before it may divide opinion, but it’s quite obvious that they were more experimental and not made with the intention of exciting an audience, as such. Only three tracks were played off ‘The Car’: Body Paint, There’d Better Be A Mirrorball, and Sculptures Of Anything Goes as the first of a three part encore. The latter worked nicely as a climatic pre-cursor to I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor and R U Mine?, and Body Paint was actually the best song of the night.
I didn’t expect it to be, but the band spent a fair amount of time improvising at the end of the song, and in that moment, you felt like you had won the lottery just to witness those two minutes of brilliance. An incredible set of musicians in their element, in the zone, effortlessly creating their own mini masterpiece. The reel below gives you an idea of how brilliant it sounded.
Charley, who joined me on the night, said on the performance of the Monkey’s single: “Body Paint was a surprise to me in terms of how well it was performed live. His vocals were incredible.”
They only performed one song off Tranquility Base: Four Out Of Five. While I enjoy having Tranquility Base on in my room, they aren’t songs I can say excite me live in concert.
Overall, I can’t complain much about a setlist that included: Fluorescent Adolescent, Brianstorm, Crying Lightning, Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?, Do I Wanna Know?, Mardy Bum, 505, I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor, R U Mine?, and of course, Cornerstone.
But, I would have liked A Certain Romance, I Wanna Be Yours, When The Sun Goes Down, From The Ritz To The Rubble, and you know, The Bakery, but that’s just me dreaming- I should probably snap out of it.
The Arctic Monkeys have been changing not only the songs included in the setlist but the order, which is a good move, as it leaves the crowd in anticipation- it was a very pleasant surprise to hear them open with Fluorescent Adolescent- but the downside is certain fans who really wanted a particular song may not have heard it, only for it to be played the next night. Now that’s a favourite worst nightmare.
The atmosphere was electric from the moment we arrived in Manchester. Hoards of people were wearing their Arctic Monkeys merchandise, enjoying the sunshine, and to me it felt like a cup final or something of that ilk. But luckily a lot less nerve-wracking and not met by bitter disappointment.
I thought the band and specifically Turner could have done more to engage with the crowd however, which was a view shared by those around me. It was one song to the next, almost rushed, and while we were fundamentally there to listen to the music, it does the atmosphere no harm for the lead singer to engage with the crowd a bit, just like The Hives did (they were the support act- more on that later).
I’m not interested in naff lines like: “You guys are the best audience I’ve ever played to!” (said every night, and therefore utter bullshit), but some appreciation, or some comedy, or just some acknowledgment that this was a concert in front of over 50,000 people, rather than what could have been a rehearsal, would have made the experience better.
That would be my one criticism, but like I said, we came to listen to music, and the music could not have been better.
It was a shame they didn’t play Pretty Visitors, but you can’t win them all; the question of who came first, the chicken or the dickhead, was certainly answered on the night though.
The dickhead.
Or the dickheads. Lots of them.
Charley and I arrived over two hours before Arctic Monkeys were set to come out on stage, and we had a great view of both of the support acts. It seemed inevitable that the odd person would push in, but it was getting to a point where large groups of people were trying to push in front of us and everyone around us, just to get a better view, when there was no space to do so, as it was less than twenty minutes until AM started playing.
I was being tapped on the back- “Do you mind if we just nudge in front of you?”, yeah, I do mind, now please piss off.
I chose to just ignore these muppets, which led to verbal abuse, before physical threats, “I’ll fucking do you in I will”- I guess he wanted to do me a favour, and break my nose. Yeah right. On that occasion, it was the chicken, not the dickhead. Talk about a bunch of Mardy Bums.
And then one gobshite in front of us during the show decided it would be a fantastic idea to hit someone for no reason. Super. Just 'cause he's had a couple o' cans, he thinks it's all right to act like a dickhead.
I may have won the battle, but lost the war, as three 90-foot alehouse blokes with heads the size of boulders, one of which looked like just Jake Paul (and his twattish behaviour makes me think it may well have been) pushed in front with five minutes until the show started, and obstructed my view throughout the night. Hence, I have no good photos, but luckily Halle has let me use some of hers, which she proudly claims are far better, despite her being half my height. So potentially, my poor photography skills should be taking more of the blame. Anyway, credit to her for the pictures.
If I stood on the tip of my toes, and jumped, I could see the top of Alex Turner’s ear. But in fairness, it was a beautiful ear.
The important thing is the band rocked and couldn’t have sounded any better.
There was a Mirrorball, but I was disappointed that Alex didn’t swing from it whilst singing about his Mirrorball, like Miley Cyrus and her wrecking ball. Then again, I think had he swung naked from a ball, most of the crowd would have fainted. At least then I would have had a better view.
I did have a great view of the two support acts, The Mysterines, then followed by The Hives, who were both excellent. The Hives were fucking bonkers and did a perfect job of exciting the audience.
Charley said on the support acts: “It was easily the best concert I’ve ever been to, but that’s not just down to Arctic Monkeys. The Mysterines and The Hives elevated it; they were sensational. The Mysterines are a unique group and were very good.
“The Hives were surprising! The lead singer was such a personality and they really got the crowd going. I’ve been playing them on repeat ever since.”
Despite the threats, I didn’t end up with a bleeding face, but the same can’t be said for The Hives’ lead singer, who got so excited whilst performing that he wellied himself in the head with his microphone and his face started bleeding profusely. He just carried on as if nothing happened though, and of course went on to crowd surf.
I wish Alex Turner could have kept his shortcuts to himself and played a few more songs, but this is not the last time I’ll be seeing Arctic Monkeys live. I will not stop until I see The Bakery, which probably means I’ll be going forever.
And next time, I’m going and staying in the front row. Knowing my luck, this time it will be Logan Paul pushing in front of me, or Alex Turner will fall off his mirrorball and bring the show to a halt- who knows? I’ll suck it and see.